Love nature but way too glamorous to actually take yourself outside for some wilderness adventure?

Go glamping, darling, glamping.

For the price of a small village you too can glam camp in the lush forests of British Columbia while swaddling yourself in lavish decadence.

Forget that old raunchy sleeping bag. Clayoquot Wilderness Resorts & Spa in Clayoquot Sound Biosphere reserve, near Tofino, offers deluxe guest tents complete with a full canopy bed set atop a raised cedar platform.

No bed bugs here baby.

Twelve luxury tents connect to each other and amenities by wooden boardwalks so your metrosexual loafers never have to touch the actual ground. All tents come with antique dressers and tea tables, Persian rugs, precious china, silver accessories. Heat arrives courtesy of remote-controlled propane wood- stoves.

Forget wieners and beans cooked in the can over a fire. Nothing less than five course meals served with precisely matched wine will pass your lips.

Lest you think glampers don’t understand adventure, you can enjoy fishing, boating and hiking – with only the finest of gear though.

And after a few days of roughing it, you’ll appreciate the on-site spa to rejuvenate your tired muscles.

You never had it so good outdoors, darling.

James W. Coates,
National Park Expert